James Van Der Beek writes powerful post about miscarriages

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He’s best known for playing the title role on “Dawson’s Creek,” but actor James Van Der Beek is getting a lot of attention for his powerful Instagram post on miscarriages.

Van Der Beek said his wife, Kimberly, had three of them — including one just before she got pregnant with their fifth child. Daughter Gwendolyn was born back in June, People reported.

“First off – we need a new word for it,” he wrote. “‘Mis-carriage’, in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother – as if she dropped something, or failed to ‘carry.’ From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all the blame off the table before we even start.”

His post continued with the emotional toll a miscarriage can take on parents.

“It will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced,” he wrote. “So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it’s rightful space.”

He urged his followers who have gone through the loss of a pregnancy to “recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before.”

He said the changes “can be gifts.”

Van Der Beek also wrote about how some couples become closer and “realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before.”

“Many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards – you’ve been warned 😍),” he wrote. “I’ve heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents.”

He urged his followers to share their own stories and what gave them “peace or hope” through the process.

He also asked for a new word for the experience.

The post was “liked” nearly 75,000 times and had more than 3,000 comments.

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Wanted to say a thing or two about miscarriages… of which we’ve had three over the years (including right before this little beauty). First off – we need a new word for it. “Mis-carriage”, in an insidious way, suggests fault for the mother – as if she dropped something, or failed to “carry.” From what I’ve learned, in all but the most obvious, extreme cases, it has nothing to do with anything the mother did or didn’t do. So let’s wipe all blame off the table before we even start. Second… it will tear you open like nothing else. It’s painful and it’s heartbreaking on levels deeper than you may have ever experienced. So don’t judge your grief, or try to rationalize your way around it. Let it flow in the waves in which it comes, and allow it it’s rightful space. And then… once you’re able… try to recognize the beauty in how you put yourself back together differently than you were before. Some changes we make proactively, some we make because the universe has smashed us, but either way, those changes can be gifts. Many couples become closer than ever before. Many parents realize a deeper desire for a child than ever before. And many, many, many couples go on to have happy, healthy, beautiful babies afterwards (and often very quickly afterwards – you’ve been warned 😍). I’ve heard some amazing metaphysical explanations for them, mostly centering around the idea that these little souls volunteer for this short journey for the benefit of the parents… but please share whatever may have given you peace or hope along the way… Along with a new word for this experience. #miscarriage #WeNeedANewName #MoreCommonThanYouHearAbout @vanderkimberly

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